Change Happens From Within

Introduction
Approximately a year ago, The Co-Founder of Strait Jacket Life conducted an interview with a female who struggled to fight her addiction and regain her life as a mother, sister and individual. Because of her addiction, she became entangled with the criminal justice system. During her long stay at the County Jail, she became to realize that there was more to her life than substance abuse, delinquency and street life. She regained perspective while incarcerated by reading of the bible and listening to other inmates stories.Here is her story...

Processing at the County Jail
First day is process,(she explains while eating a small bag of Ranch Doritos Chips) is a blur I'm still drunk and can't wait to go to sleep.

Second day..reality hits.. I;m no longer drunk.first week a blur.. I felt my body detoxing and getting adjusted to being locked up. I couldn't do nothing but think about problems and my feelings.I get placed in a two man cell.. and once in I tried to sleep for a while.This was about four in the morning. At 6am we get awaken by the deputies for chow.Later on that week I got a visit from my older brother.He visits me and the first thing he tells me is " Your man left you and has changed his phone number." I began to call everyone to see what was going on but couldn't get a hold of him. In there you can't do nothing but cope with problems. Being in jail gave me time to situate myself and think about what I needed to do with my life..

Nightmares
One night, I began having nightmares about my sister. Her face was taking shape in demonic form.. the lasting impression was her eyes.I use to sleep facing that small window port but that night I slept with by back facing it.


There is nothing nice about jail
I requested a bible several times and deputies never gave me one. There is this button to get help from deputies but every inmate knows not to touch that button. If you hit that button, deputies will beat you down and put you in the hole.There were times where they would raid the whole unit for random things. there was this one time where a girl was beat up in my unit. Right after, we were on locked down for two days because a girl talked back to a deputy.They say that you can't hit the button unless its an emergency.It's an emergency when you don't have toilet paper or have breast implants and they're leaking..that's what happen to my bunky.there was this one inmate who told the deputy that she was going to report that she was beaten..The deputies responded in the intercom by saying "bitches get stitches". If you think you;re going to put a grievance against a deputy, the deputies would tell the inmates "you don't want to fuck with us" they're crazy..they want to punk you..there was this one time when an inmate didn't get a milk so she told a deputy that she didn't get a milk. The deputy began screaming and saying "don't ever talk back" deputy placed the inmate in a headlock and slammed her to the floor.Some treat you like animals.The girl deputies are the real bitches.The showers are dirty.

One time they called me on the intercom and told me to "roll it up" cause I was leaving..then in the intercom they told me to "never mind".I wasn't sure what was going on so I hit the button.The female deputies came to my cell and told me "what the fuck was so important". I told her that I wasn't sure what was going on because I was told to roll up my bed. She gave me an attitude and told me that I wasn't going anywhere. That place was confusing.The next week I was transferred.

I got transferred to another facility which was a little bit cleaner.First thing I did was take a shower. I got my bed set up and began meeting people in my dorm. Two Mexican gangster girls came up to me and asked me where I was from.they were cool but looked very young like 19-20.She gave me a bible..from that day I started my journal.I was reading every night. Every night, I would have two other inmates who would read with me every night. I would give them scriptures from the bible to help them sleep at night. I use to pull quotes from the book of James.There was this one girl who would go to my bunk every night asking me to give her a scripture before she went to sleep.I kinda became a teacher in there (smiles as she reminisces).

This is the bible that I got in jail.(shows the bible that she carries till this day) The day that I was getting released I asked her if I could keep it which she let me. here's one of my favorite versus from the book of James.



One of her favorites scriptures from the bible
"Come now you will say..today or tomorrow we will go to such and such city and spend a year there and engage in and make profit. Yet u do not know what your life will be tomorrow.you are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away-Instead you ought to say if the lord wills we will live and also to this or that.but at it is you boast in your arrogance.all such boasting is evil. therefore to one who know the right thing and does not do it,to him it is a sin".

This is how I'm learning how to live. not only to stop my addiction but also to change my behavior. Today is my 30days being sober.

Update
This was over year ago today. The person we interviewed is still sober from substances, She has completed a year of community college and is active in her schools chorus group. She successfully completed a treatment program and continues to push herself in life. Things will never change unless you decide on making changes yourself.